Through experience comes wisdom

There is much to be said about the personal growth that comes through experience. We often hear of people “learning the lesson the hard way” and there is much truth and personal proof to that. At times, we may look for that shortcut to our own improvement, only to realize that we often need personal and direct experiences – to learn the lesson the hard way, in order to cause a permanent and fundamental change of beliefs.  

These experiences come in many forms – both good and bad, and sometimes even involve reaching a rock bottom in order absolutely feel the need to change not only in your mind, but also within your heart. For example, the alcoholic that has to lose everything – happiness, relationships, money, health and home in order to finally go to the AA meeting and finally quit drinking. Or an individual has to reach 300 pounds and be faced with death before they realize a change in their eating habits must occur. Or at a less extreme level, the woman who keeps dating the narcissist men until she finally realizes she is worthy of being with a kind, loving and compassionate individual. Or the man who equates his worth to money, therefore chases it his entire life in order to feel successful – only to realize that it never made him genuinely happy. Though these difficult lessons in life, we grow in our own ability to be aware and mindful to our life experiences. With this awareness comes mindful, conscious decisions for our overall well-being; whereas before, many of our poor decisions were made based on unconscious forms of habit picked up along the way – which never really fulfilled us to begin with.

There are also positive experiences, the beautiful gifts of life which cause us to grow in love on many levels. For example, when two people become parents for the first time – and the experience of the love they have for their child is like nothing they have ever felt before and they are forever changed as a person because of it. Or the experience of feeling unconditionally loved for the first time in your life. Or to truly experience the freedom of forgiveness for another person – especially after having held on to anger or resentment for a long period of time. And to also experience having been forgiven by another person, especially when you feel that you have done something unforgivable. These encounters are rich, and transformative from the inside out. They can result in significant growth of an individual and make them a more loving, understanding and patient human being.

In any circumstance, whether perceived as positive or negative, there is an opportunity for our perspective and fundamental beliefs to shift in a way that can make us feel like an entirely different person - causing new habits and ways of being that, in time, become like second nature to us. Outside resources - books, lectures and teachers, provide us with knowledge and support at an intellectual level, but it is up to the individual to absorb that knowledge through experience and contemplation, and then to transform it into a true understanding – at a heart and soul level. To do this requires patience, humility and dedication to your own transformation. Through this, we become better people ourselves and in turn, are better for everybody around us. This is a life-long practice and the opportunities for growth and improvement are endless. When we have the ability to truly embody the moments we are in through the act of being present, there is always an underlying wisdom and teaching to all that is happening within and around us; and wisdom exists in all moments and circumstances – big and small, and our intuition is our guide.  

 

with love,

katie lain