a smile

walk with a smile
and witness the world 
beckoning at your feet

yearns

and my heart still yearns for you
after all these years
proof that love exists outside of space
and outside of time
and so
all that i can do
is love you from afar
hoping somehow
it reaches you

Frustration moves you

The energy behind frustration… behind anger is a powerful force. It can create a momentum that generates change. A change that you have potentially wanted for a long while – whether consciously or subconsciously, but have not had a force influential enough to make it happen.

Early on in my awakening I thought of these emotions as simply negative. I thought they were bad and we should not allow them to surface. What I have learned, however, is that these “negative emotions” are only bad if we impulsively react to them. This sort of reaction can produce negative and harmful effects where we think, say and do things we undoubtedly regret later on. If we can allow these emotions to simply be… soon enough, they will pass – and in the interim until they do, a lot of introspection and growth can happen.

We always hear -- and truthfully, deeply understand the power that is also behind more “positive emotions” – those of gratitude and love. This power can create change and move you too… to be better, happier and more loving. These emotions are some of the best I’ve ever felt.  However, to maintain these emotions 100% of the time is unfeasible. We are only human and ever-evolving, ever-learning, ever-changing spiritually.

It is important to realize that the emotions we feel – from love and gratitude to anger and frustration - are all essential to our spiritual growth. They provide insight and understanding to oneself and the world around us. All emotions change us and keep us developing on our spiritual path – so long as we are mindful of them.

who impacts you

you never know who it will be to impact you

make that difference

a stamp

that is ever lasting in your life

we expect it to be family, close friends, significant others

and they do…

but at times there are those who make a mark on your life --

impacting you so much that it changes you

and when they're gone….

you finally realize

that they changed you.

and how they changed you.

and that because of their impact

they will live on in you forever

this gift

it's as if

when the branch sways in the wind --

it sways for me.

when the butterfly flaps its wings to fly so delicately in the sky  -- 

it flies for me.

when the sun shines --

it shines for me. 

and the rain falls --

for me.

all moments of all time were created for me.

and for you. for all of us. 

for the experience… 

for that knowing -- that is within each of us.

 yet we can't quite put a finger on.

…the eternal consciousness….

as they say.

that is beyond the 'me', the 'i', the 'self' form….

that is more than that. 

and more than what can be put into words.

this world…

this human experience…

this beauty around us - in all forms…

is a gift.

for the eternity that exists within all of us.

the biggest gift

“find in what look like sorrows, the seedlings of your joy”

Just over a year ago I left a relationship of 5 years. This relationship started when I was 21 and I was madly in love with the man since I was a kid. It began beautifully with romance, laughter, happy experiences and true love… but as more and more time passed it turned into a verbally abusive, then physically abusive relationship that only became more severe over time. I had always believed that I would never allow myself to be in an abusive relationship -- and I would hear about these women who would stick around with men who hurt them and I considered them weak and foolish for doing so. But then there I was, smack dab in the middle of one – and I stayed for years.

With this environment came deep, deep unhappiness within me. I ached with pain nearly every day… had suicidal thoughts and true hatred of myself. I felt trapped in my situation and myself and didn’t feel worthy or strong enough to leave… but every day I begged God for a sign or strength or something that would make me able to leave the situation that I felt I was drowning in.

One day the abuse was so severe and loud enough that my neighbors called the cops. It was the worst incident yet… I felt completely humiliated having to speak to the cops in front of my neighbors and I even lied to them about the abuse (I still don’t know why I did this). But this was the sign I was begging for that gave me the strength to finally leave. I had had enough.

Now, a year later – I see this relationship as the biggest gift of my life. 

Throughout the years of abuse and the deep unhappiness I felt, it caused me to truly self-reflect and go within myself to try to repair anything I could. Although the solutions I came up with were never a fix long term, it caused me to grow as a person in all ways, little by little. It taught be about forgiveness and showed me God and spirituality. I began a meditation practice and started going to Buddhism meetings. 

I believe that I somehow needed this struggle to really have a purpose to search for happiness and truth. I learned what feels like an infinite amount of lessons in this relationship and really transformed as a person. How can I not have anything but gratitude for this experience?

To me, this was a divine lesson on struggle and as I reflect back, I know that every single challenging or trying time in my life has always made me grow as a person; grow spiritually and ultimately made me more whole and happier. I find myself now at a place in life where I embrace struggle. This is not to say it feels easy or is enjoyable – because it’s not. But if you can practice simply letting the struggle be… and have faith that it is for a deeper reason – for your growth and for a better you; you will witness the joy emerge for the circumstance.

5 reasons I am starting this blog: the first post

My name is Katie, I am 27 and have an unconditional love of life -- on all levels and within all experiences. That was not always the case for me. Until my mid-20s I spent life as an anxious mess worried about things, filled with insecurities and a sense of unworthiness. Through hitting what I can only call my rock bottom, my views began to change and I started to see everything differently... in a much softer, beautiful and loving way. This was a gift and it keeps growing each and every day. Through my experiences and new way of seeing things, I have reached a level in life where I am naturally filled with joy and gratitude - no matter what. I see beauty from all angles and find inspiration and meaning in all of my experiences. My hope is to genuinely share with you what my heart tells me... in a way that can allow you to be touched, inspired and see life in all its beauty.


Now, the 5 (of many) reasons I am starting this blog:

1. To make your heart sing. The amount of unconditional love we can feel in our hearts is truly, truly endless. It can and is meant to grow your entire life. This unconditional love can be felt for every body (especially yourself), every experience, every situation...  everything. With that being said, I have unconditional love for you... and I will write and share from my heart with pure intention to make you feel that love.

2. To share ideas, quotes, authors and any other substantial content that positively shifted my life... with hopes it will do the same for you.

3. For laughter. As they say, 'laughter is the best medicine.' It feeds your soul and the more I connect with my soul the more I simply understand it and the beauty that lives within it -- within ME. This gives me the natural ability to laugh at myself and things in life that would have probably upset me before -- or would have occurred without any acknowledgment.  My laughter is not only humorous... but comes from a deep place of  happiness --- that is within ALL OF US! Yay... I hope to help you tap into that.

4. For Beauty. No matter what, life is meant to be beautiful. This is my life quote and I live by it. Beauty lies in every experience and every aspect of life - good and bad. It is all in how you perceive it -- and your perception is a choice. This can be a tough nut to crack, but the transformation begins with an open heart, open mind and a desire to see the beauty in everything. Do you want to see the beauty? I do, and I can... and nothing is more enriching. 

5. For Inspiration. To be inspired is one of the most heartening feelings in life. It can cause you to take action toward something you love and is the birth place of creativity. Quite literally... anything can serve as your inspiration - there is no set recipe or right or wrong way to be inspired. Embrace and act on that which inspires you. My intention is to inspire you -- and my hope is that you act on that inspiration to be who you truly want to be in this life. A few things that inspire me... vintage fashion, expressing love, live productions of any kind, difficult times in life and truly listening to others. What inspires you?

Thank you.

with love,
katie lain